Rango rules my weekend!

Here is the Rango breakdown for you . . . my many many readers!

This flick is snagging an 8.5/10 on the newly crafted Josh enjoyment scale. I found myself getting lost in the dazzling and encapsulating film obsessed nature of this homage riddled masterpiece. 

There was something about Rango which took me back to the films of my youth. The story behind this ordinary pet chameleon is that of a simple quest for water in the desert. The digital prowess of Industrial Light & Magic's "paintbrush", under the amazing Art Direction of John Bell, truly delivers an astounding western backdrop filled to the brim with an infinite variety of critters culminating in a feast for the eyes.

The actual character, Rango, is voiced by the ever rocking Johnny Depp whom does a superb job at giving life to this lost lizard. Audiences are introduced to this creature whilst sitting in on his one man show involving the few inanimate items inside his tank. It's a very sad scene, but a depiction of the ridiculous nature of one's imagination that I am sure all will relate to. It has a hint of the opening scene to Toy Story 3, here I parallel Rango to Andy. Rango is a chameleon well versed in acting theory and bursting with ambition to develop into a full and dynamic actor. 

From this pitiful existence as a pet lizard Rango is then thrust into the desert and left to his own devices. We meet Roadkill, quite literally, he is but one of hundreds of spectacularly rendered desert animals whom directs Rango to wander the desert to the town of Dirt. The story moves along into Rango acting as though he were some style of Man With No Name. There is a quest to restore the town's water supply and none other than the newly cast Sheriff, our hero Rango, leads the charge. Action is a plenty and splashes across the screen within this fully realized western landscape that will send you back to the movies purely to pay extra notice of all the accents and stylized bits which construct the atmosphere of this film.

Gore Verbinski can certainly add Rango to his ever widening spectrum of directorial home-runs. Writing credits go to John Logan and Rango's quintessential western score was lead by none other than Hanz Zimmer. Rango is easily of the best cinematic culminations produced thus far this year. See a good movie, see Rango!

Sucker Punch . . . really Sucks

Here is the perfect example of a currently in demand director/writer being given far to much money and every employee attached to said project looking more towards their payday than the actual story audiences are expecting to be shown. I can't imagine that people working on this project, even in it's earliest stages, read this storyline and didn't find themselves confounded as to what was actually going on on screen. I can only imagine this pitch going over similar to a kid I knew in college rambling about some acid trip he'd taken and the jumble of images he awoke with and commendably remembered . . . loosely.

Sucker Punch was written by Steve Shibuya and Zack Snyder as well as directed by the slow-motion obsessed Zack Snyder. Let's start off with what the trailer proposed to audiences all throughout this fall's advertising campaign. We saw hot and scantily clad girls, with kick-ace all era weapons, traversing a highly stylized backdrop including and not limited to WWI trenches, dragon infested castles and a futuristic high speeding train. On top of this we heard the slamming Lords of Acid tune titled The Crablouse.

And now the film's breakdown. The full extent of this film added nothing to what I just told you.

Very simply the trailer is more entertaining than the actual storyline. The act of stringing together scenes from the trailer in one's mind attempting to connect this explosion of images and hot girls is wildly more entertaining than what Zack Snyder came out of production with. So in theory, doing what the thesis of this movie proposes, just making shit up in your head, is the way to experience the most from this TRAILER.

There is a loose storyline revolving around a girl on lobotomy row, due to her Step-Father's ill will. She meets a group of girls that are being whored out within their insane asylum, but have this wild ability to seek solace in their imaginative scenarios. So, there you, the audience will retreat at every possible moment into these girls' dreams. The 30 foot samurai, not real. The massive dragon, not real. And that is all fine and good. But, there needs to be some bit of actuality in the pay off. 

There was another alternate reality film that came out this year that accomplished my proposed style of imaginative reality. You might have heard of it, . . . Inception. 

In Sucker Punch there is a video game aesthetic to it. This mindless tromping through a made up reality with nothing actually posing a threat, due to the fact that the main character "Baby Doll" is quite literally stripping during all of these action scenes. Yes, you read this right. Where as our Inception characters have consequences and elements to their alternate realities which tie their actions all together, these girls have nothing aside from their end goal, to get some object (map, knife, key & a lighter). The aforementioned 30 foot samurai, WWI pressurized zombie soldiers and fire breathing dragon all go without some actual real world counterpart. One could claim that this Dragon parallels as some Mayor in the crowd puffing on a cigar. Here is my point. As Baby Doll strips, another girl is pilfering a lighter off of this Dragon Mayor. The epic on screen air battle involving every character in all reality required two girls, one stripper and one pickpocket.

That is my biggest problem with this movie. Never mind the fact that the end game is escape from the asylum, but not of the character the writers spent 10 seconds in the opening music video to introduce audiences to. I stress here that viewers don't get to actually connect with any of the characters in this film, so the twist at the end isn't significant at all.

Why couldn't Snyder have left this one in story-boarded form and have released it as a comic book. That at least would have saved me the $12 spot I wasted on this movie. Fingers remain crossed Snyder doesn't spoil another Superman reboot, but this mishmash of music video and storyless slow-motion further confirmed that 300 was just about as good as Snyder might get.

Portland Timbers Win! 2-0 v. Chivas USA

Instead of reading Larsson, I found myself glued last night to the Portland Timbers's website for the streaming of their game against Chivas USA in a play-in opportunity within the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup at the University of Portland's Merlo Field. 

The first 15 minutes of play were most nerve-racking, and thankfully  passed scoreless. Which wasn't how the two previous MLS season games had gone over for the Timbers. Whom had allowed goals early in both games against Toronto FC & the Colorado Rapids. Needless to say there was a great energy on the pitch within the Timber ranks and shots on goal were a plenty throughout the first half, 5 to be exact. There were two fantastic one-on-one saves by the third-string goalie, Kiwi Jake Gleeson ensuring Chivas USA could never get a leg up. Jack Jewsbury had an unassisted goal in the 84th minute. It was glorious, and quickly followed up by a corner kick into the net by Eric Brunner, with an assist by the aforementioned Jewsbury. The first two fresh rounds of log were quickly lopped off in front of a cacophonous Timbers Army whilst they celebrated their first win!

The Timbers will follow up this win with a game squared off against the San Jose Earthquakes at a to be determined location and time. Portland will play the New England Revolution this Saturday in their third away game of this the 2011 MLS season.

The Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup is the most inclusive soccer competition available in the States. These bouts of sport provide a complete mixing of amateur clubs and professional teams in a single-elimination cup that spans all levels of competitive play.

Stunted within The Hornet's Nest

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest
by Stieg Larsson

Here I am quite literally stuck on the 300th page of this book. The first book of this series, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, is fantastic. Nothing, not even the 2+ hour commute I was committed to could deter me from plowing through those pages. Yes, that is correct, I had 4 or more hours each work day that I was comutting via a pair of Subway trains & multiple MTA Buses from Greenpoint to Manhasset, Long Island. Point being that the time flew by whilst I was reading the first book of the Millenium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson.

This latest, and last, installment has had me crawling from page to page. I've heard this from a few other fellow readers as well, and I want to know what it is that has me so . . . uninterested? That doesn't even feel like the right explative for my bluh mood towards this novel. I love Lisbeth Salander, she is an amazing character with a depth and attitude unlike any female lead I've come across in literature, in the 24 years of experience I've mustered through thus far. 

There is such a lull right now that I have to simply walk away from this post even . . . and grudgingly attempt to get past a few more pages. More on this novel soon, I simply felt compelled to express this frustration. Thanks for giving me a read! Check in soon for more.

Michel Gondry's stingless Green Hornet

This past weekend I caught Michel Gondry & Seth Rogen's The Green Hornet. I am going to initially start off with an overall rating of this movie, which will encompass all of it's pieces as a whole. And seeing as I am not sure which direction I want to go in with this blog, in as much as my own rating system is structured, I will place a 6.5 out of 10 upon this film. Overall this is a fun, exciting, popcorn mashing flash bang of a movie.

Yet, and now the fun part, I go into the reasons why The Green Hornet didn't quite do it for me. Firstly I had exponentially higher hopes for this movie considering the director, Michel Gondry, is a visionary and mesmerizing artist. Take a peek at The Science of Sleep, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Be Kind Rewind for a taste of the feats of cinematography and smart storytelling Gondry is capable of. Aside from a few fun and stylized fight scenes, there was little in this movie that could be at all any different from a campy 90's Bruckheimer hero flick.

Seth Rogen did a great job playing, himself. In every scene he was jolly, laughing, dim witted and childish. That must have been the character they were aiming for because there are absolutely no other attempts to play a deep conflicted hero. Now, perhaps that wasn't the direction for the Green Hornet, I will consider it. But, why then be so fulfilled with such a bland and borderline annoying hero? The entire time I was watching Rogen I wanted him merely to act mildly different then every other film I've ever seen him in. I don't want to start a new paragraph for this next individual, for it would warrant far to much effort and her presence was even more annoying than that previously mentioned. I am referring now to Cameron Diaz. She was so entirely forgettable and replaceable that it must have been that she didn't cost much, and she might have had a friend previously signed onto this project. If I ever hear that she won this role over anyone else I would be truly amazed. She was as vapid and again, bland, as our hero Mr. Rogen.

Now for the thrilling emergence of Jay Chou, or Kato the sidekick. I've heard comparisons of Mr. Chou's presence abroad as that of the "Justin Timberlake" of China. He is absolutely the best part of this movie. His comedic timing and all around entertaining value highlights the joke of a role Seth Rogen wrote for himself. Kato is supposed to be awesome, but the ridiculousness of everyone around him frustrated me to no end. He plays the cool and mysterious Kato fantastically. Christoph Waltz, also known as the breakout star of Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards, way to not work too hard! Waltz plays the, not too scary, villain. And in there is a very annoying joke that plagues the entire film as well. The ease with which this script makes caricatures of it's personalities is just about stifling by the time the credits roll. I really wanted to have at least a couple better words about this movie.

It is easy to follow, exciting when it should be and an all around successful action comedy. I had wanted more and was sure the forces that wound up controlling this would produce a better film. Alas, I walked from my seat with a "Meh, can't make amazing cinema out of it all."

Not a good week for watching . . .

I have little to describe at the end of this workweek. I found myself cheering on UNR in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, my sister and a best friend currently attend that fine institution. They indeed won against Boston College, I truly wish I could say the game was fun to watch, but after halftime both teams were celebrating amateur hour and I found them to be without. The UNR I’d seen all year should have easily ran away with this game. Alas, that was Sunday.

Monday Night brought on the BCS Championship and quickly became the HIGHEST RATED CABLE SHOW EVER! According to The Hollywood Reporter, more than twenty-seven million people watched that broadcast live. For all of the hype that encompassed the likes of ESPN for the past two weeks, every bit of it paid off. Viewers showed up, 2010 Heisman trophy winner Cam Newton and the Auburn University Tigers stormed out of Phoenix with their heads held high and a massive W.

I have a hard time admitting this, but I found myself held hostage by a movie this week. Dinner for Schmucks held me ransom. Talk about an all out mockery of storytelling. Our only comments after the confirmation of a soulless Hollywood, were that of disbelief that a movie could yet again, be pushed on to the set with a clearly horrid script and allowed to run rampant with it’s own idiocracy. I blame you America. You showed up and gave this movie nearly 73 million dollars! Why? This was easily the most atrocious phlegm of an excuse for a storyline I’d ever heard of. I am livid at the thought of the millions of writers and directors and actors that could have had a chance to produce actual art, or even possibly actual comedy with the money that was thrown away with regards to this film. All while utter and complete trash is thrown upon American audiences, which are more than happy to gobble it up. I then caught an episode of Hawaii Five-O, needless to say . . . 'lil Caan is entertaining, while he plays himself. At least those writers were smart enough to get themselves jobs playing in Hawaii for the time being. That's about all I have to say about that.

Have a fantastic weekend!

David O. Russell's "The Fighter"

Boxing movies certainly seem to be of the more formulaic and repetitive storylines produced for audiences. Yet, upon watching David O. Russell's "The Fighter" I find myself entirely transfixed by an engaging family centered drama that happens to feature a bit of boxing. Christian Bale redeems himself for a few less than amazing performances this past year with his no less than extraordinary take on town-hero, crack-addict, trainer and ex-boxer Dickie Ecklund. Mark Wahlberg plays "Irish" Mickey Wade, whom has had a less than stellar career helmed by his overbearing managing mother and over shadowing brother. Melissa Leo, as the boys’ mother Alice Wade, plays her heart out and constructs a character that commandeers the tone of every scene she is in. The combination of Christian Bale and Melissa Leo’s performances on screen gives light to an honest and hard knock family dynamic, rarely captured in a film oozing with this much authenticity. The gorgeous Amy Adams continues to expand her palette of characters with a very strong-willed and unassailable presence as Mickie's new found love interest. One last shout out has to go to my own personal favorite the ill-fated Chief Jerry Reilly, from the stellar Rescue Me series. Jack McGee stands just as strong as the rest of this cast as a sidelined patriarch George Ward.

This movie is about the glue and the love within a family driving them to stay together and conquer the world’s, as well as their own self imposed, hurdles. It is after the last ounces of willpower and intuition are spent up and any normal individual might abandon their blatantly crack addicted brethren to their fate, that this family continues to pull together and offer those last chances which populate so many sports films. There in the family storylines do we see the real redemptive aspects of this boxing film. Wahlberg’s Mickey Ward fights his own obvious battles within the ring, but those confrontations are most poignant when paralleled to the scalding nature of this down to earth and gritty Ward family.

Favorite moment: As Mickey has yet to turn the final fight to his favor, and he is really looking to lose, Dickie focuses his battered little brother and reminds him to take everything from outside the ring, all the heartache, the feelings of betrayal, all the hurt and manifest it all into this last round. It is one of the only moments Dickie is clear enough to notice that this is his brother’s chance. This scene is the culmination of some not very impressive fight scenes, though charismatically shot with a “real-life” HBO themed video style that does lend the fights a bit of help, but they are not “WOW” material.


This is a fantastic guy’s night out, date movie, and all around pre-Oscar contender to certainly go out of your way to see!

What Happened to Josh: Fall 2010 Edition

Well hello! There was a glimpse of what could have been a blog forming here in early June of 2010. That much is true. It was a dream of a blog, that I am ashamed to have begun and so quickly abandoned. Either way, if you should still be interested in the many trivialities of my ramblings than stay tuned right here. I, Josh, will provide you with a comprehensive guide to all things being viewed and broadcast in front of this guy. You can count on my opinions to be mildly biased, constructed for further critical deconstruction, as well as peppered with an unyielding dry humor which comes through in everything I undertake.

I had been residing in the Hipster-mecca of Williamsburg/Greenpoint. Jameson, the wonder beagle, and I had a fantastic group of months there from February to around June/July. In that span, I had found myself as a personal assistant to a "wanna be" web start-up, a gym membership salesman, and eventually the front desk/admin teammate of a prolific PR company. None of these were sadly my calling, or even managed to end on possibly a clean note. I lack the ability to blindly take orders from spiteful higher ups, whose soul purpose for demanding such orders is to do in fact their own job for them. That and . . . seeing that I'm a burgeoning writer, I was far to pent up in those professions.

So, yes. I said farewell to the heaven and headache that is the NYC area and found myself relocating back to my roots in the, currently, snow-filled mountains of Northern California. The old guys are in town, or in the surrounding area, and we have new businesses to infiltrate as well as a new fervor for brewing our own beers(the 1st annual DHP Beerfest is set for June 2011). My own personal undertaking is also saddled with my desire to create my own pickling label. (More details soon!) As you can see, there are many moves circling the air around these Sierra Nevadan based mountains. I do hope you are ready for the show!

Netherlands v. Denmark 06.14.2010

Highly talked about as a favorite, though having never won a previous World Cup, the Dutch came onto the pitch with a fervor like non-other this morning in Johannesburg.

It was on an own-goal at the 46' minute, that got the Dutch started and then their second goal at the 85' minute by Dirk Kuyt. Denmark's Simon Poulsen headed in the ball off the back of teammate Daniel Agger.

Denmark did well enough to keep the Netherlands from the free-flowing high scoring team their fans have become accustomed to watching. But those goals are what will define winners over losers. Either way, great early morning soccer.

Horrifying Faith & True Blood

The third season of True Blood premiered last night. And oh, what a crazy time that was! I'm not going to get into a rehashing of what went on, because if you are interested in that episode then simply tune in to HBO and watch it. I would much rather talk about a few of the deeper aspects of this True Blood-iverse Alan Ball has crafted.


Firstly, I am a huge fan of Six Feet Under. I didn't get hooked into it until it was already released as a series encompassing boxed set. But it's better late than never. I absolutely cannot get enough of the meaty discussions Alan Ball is able to make surrounding life, death, relationships, and general human emotions. In Six Feet Under the conversation was blatantly how a family lives, to the fullest extent of the word, when they are constantly surrounded by others' death. One can also see this discussion encompassing the characters of True Blood, yet I find that to be considerably more comedic and light as opposed to a heavier nature of Six Feet Under, the laughs abounded for the Fisher household.


True Blood is able to disguise some of the actually terrifying elements of the human existence within its own world of the supernatural. Oddly enough it the organizations which viewers are most familiar with, that are down right horrifying in this bayou based storyline. One character's mother, Tara's, blindly carries on a faith which constantly masks any real, though heavily 'preached', good and does more harm to her own daughter than any of the presumed evil characters upon the show. This faith based evil was also carried out during the second season story arc of Jason Stackhouse's association with the evangelical-esque "Fellowship of the Sun". This group epitomized those perceived wholesome and devout organizations which then resorted to terrorist actions in order to claim some form of retribution against the vampires. These faith-based evils are far scarier to viewers than any supernatural evil, because they actually exist and thrive in the real world.


And that is all I have for viewers at this very moment . . . but check back here . . . or upon my own blog.


I'm sure to have some added True Blood based conversations soon!

Fantastic Dempsey GOAL!

Absolutley incredible goal that the Brits let slip past them! Nothing else to say! Fantastic!

Okay folks! USA v. England

Sadly, my plans to join the kids at my a fore mentioned Staten Island locale will have to root on without me. I know, it blows not to be watching this game with your best crew of mates, but I have no idea how long I will remain in Brooklyn, the greatest borough. Ergo, I am here in a bar abstaining from the black stuff, and absolutely loving the atmosphere.

We have gents in jerseys, the reliable white T, and everything in between. All looking for a cheaper pint! I'm currently broadcasting from the Keg & Lantern. Easily the best bar in all of Greenpoint.

Back to the 'most beautiful game'! Clint Dempsey is on the screen and for anyone to go through what he has to get to the World Cup stage, I whole-heartedly commend you sir. Also coming from a very hardworking and dedicated family structure I wish you the best and cannot wait to enjoy this match!

Rooney, yer hurt. You've had a long frickin' club season and you are not fully recovered. Period. As for England's head coach, a flippin' "I-tie" . . . I don't think your presence upon the British squad is deserved. How is it that the players must have a citizenship in order to play for their respective countries, but coaches are for hire?

Stupid!

More soon folks

JOSH here, USA v. England soon!

Game 2 Recap: Uruguay v. France 0-0

Here is one thing that can certainly be said for this match . . . AMAZING DEFENSE by URUGUAY!

Absolutely fantastic defense by La Celeste! I am sure we will see some serious shots made by this team in the games to come.

There were zero points earned on either side. But some serious heart displayed on this pitch throughout their allotted time. I absolutely despise that Thierry Henry had the nerve to call a handball on Uruguay. I rejoiced when he told to simply shut up and play. What a first day!

Congrats for Uruguay again! Way to hold them Frogs!

Tomorrow shall be an absolutely rocking day of the 'beautiful game'! More on that later, but . . . we can look forward to Argentina's certainly raucous display, by their head coach and fantastic Lionel Messi! Not much to say on South Korea v. Greece . . . but I can assure I'll find some crazy garbage to fill your screen with . . . if you are even viewing this . . . which really . . . isn't catching fire yet . . . 1st day jitters . . . no worries!

AND THEN! at 1:30PM USA v. ENGLAND!!

need I say more? I'll kicking it in Staten Island for that scene rocking with the boys @

	http://efyousports.blogspot.com Josh here, no more watching . . . for now!

Game 2: Uruguay v. France HALFTIME

There wasn't a whole lot that went on during this first half. Two yellow cards handed out, given out to Patrice Evra (12') & Franck Ribéry (19'). And that was about it . . . Certainly more shots on goal by the French but hopes are still high for Uruguay to fire one in past France's Hugo Lloris.

Josh here, Uruguay v. France 2nd Half on screen!

Game 2 prediction . . . URUGUAY

Certainly France has talent on their team . . . but . . . THEY SHOULDN'T BE HERE! Ireland clearly should have made the Cup in their stead. Thanks a lot blind FIFA refs . . .

moving on . . . Let's go 1930 World Cup Champs URUGUAY! The country of France has little love for their own eccentric head coach, and the team just about hates each other . . . TEAR THEM UP URUGUAY!!

Josh here, Uruguay v. France on the screen!

Game One: South Africa v. Mexico 06.11.2010

What a first match! South Africa's Siphiwe Tshabalala scored the first goal in the 55' minute after a scoreless first half. This was certainly not to go unanswered, with Mexico's Rafael Márquez Álvarez's goal at the 78' minute. Which was all either team would allow. There were some very great shots on the net by both sides, and South Africa had an amazing chance that bounced off the wrong side of the post during that final minutes which surely would have sent the crowds into an already outstanding uproar!

Though I'm already over that damn buzzing of those horns . . . but do you South Africa!

It's fantastic to see such great soccer, right off the bat! Thank you ESPN for doing a great job producing HD telecasts of these games! It's looking amazing! IDK about these 3D options, personally I'd have to laugh at anyone who invited my to their house to watch any game, and require that I get myself a pair of expensive flipp'n glasses for an added experience? Whack! But either way, my thanks to ESPN thus far! Doing great on coverage and conversation!

I'm also a great fan of their podcast, which had been weekly . . . but is now being produced daily for the duration of the Cup. Check that here:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnradio/podcast/archive?id=5052458

Enjoy . . . That's what I be watching . . . & listening to!

Josh here, watching stuff!

And we are tied!!

Mexico has just tied up the match!! In the 78' minute Rafael Márquez nails one in! A crazy ten minutes remains . . . followed by who knows what!! be sure to stay tuned in!

GOAL!!!!

And the 1st GOAL at the 55' minute of the World Cup in South Africa goes to . . . SOUTH AFRICA!! Way to show up Siphiwe Tshabalala and all of the team! For a team whom wouldn't be at The Cup, aside form being the host nation they are performing against Mexico with an astonishing fervor! And that hard work is keeping "El Tri" (Mexican National Team) at bay and currently without . . . ! Fantastic! More soon! There is still plenty of soccer to be played here!

Just as it says . . . here is what I am watching!

Thrilling I know!

I am currently 23 years old and in a bit of a transitioning period in my life. But we will get to me later on. As the title claims, this is an odd outlet for what is going on in front of me and around me and, if it isn't too selfish, what goes on with me. That third part will certainly be a minimal aspect of this blog. You, the reader don't rightly care what I am up to? Do you? If so we will tailor the postings accordingly.

Moving right along. I am currently out on Long Island, NY. Where I have been primarily based at since the Fall of 2004. I went to Hofstra University, GO PRIDE! And majored in Film Studies & Production. I've had a string of jobs in the retail industry, and most recently with a web start up, that was a complete and total waste of my time. Alas, here I am with the rest of the viewers of the most 'beautiful game' catching the first match of the 19th FIFA World Cup in South Africa!

This being my first post, which absolutely no one will read . . . is being posted at the 31st minute mark of South Africa v. Mexico!

More to come shortly, perhaps some analysis . . . certainly random thoughts, and . . . maybe even a few fart jokes . . . ? Who knows?

Josh here, watching the World Cup in South Africa!